What is the Statute of Limitations on Spoiler Alerts?


This might seem funny to you, but I got so badly spoilereded that I wanted to metaphorically punch this little old lady in the face.

It all started when I decided to watch NYPD Blue on Amazon Prime because, hey, y'know, show-hole and all. Of course, this show aired between '93 and '05, so it's dated as I don't know what. But I like it! It's got good stories, funny characters, and great camera work.

A couple of weeks later, I was just watching some random news story in the evening and this old lady, probably around my Bubbie's age, that the anchor was talking to about some such tragedy said she's never seen anything so sad since they killed Bobby Simone on NYPD Blue.

BOOM. Bolt Upright. And I'm like, "WHAT. THE. FUCK? THEY KILLED BOBBY SIMONE? I'M ONLY ON SEASON 5. WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY KILLED HIM? GODDAMNIT LADY."

So I go to my Prime watchlist and fast forward through to the episode in question "Heart and Souls" which aired in 1998 when I was like 12.

And there dies Bobby Simone, probably the most awesome character on that show and the main reason why I stuck through after season 3.

Then I'm bargaining, "no, they didn't really kill him -- it was just a fake-out and later on he actually comes back. Right? Right!? ... RIGHT!?!?!?!"

So, I fast forward some more and, yep, he comes back! Only... he comes back as a goddamn ghost like this he's supposed to suddenly be Patrick Swayze to Dennis Franz's Andy Sipowisz's Demi Moore in Ghost now. To add insult to injury, they don't do this until SEASON FUCKING TWELVE!

But back to my point. This show hasn't been on television in over 10 years. I just started watching it on a whim and the episode/story-arc in question is almost 20 years old. So, is that really a spoiler? Was I really spoilered? And, if not, then what is the time-frame for spoilers and spoiler alerts? Is it a day, a week, a month, a year?

What is the statute of limitations on spoiler alerts?

Because, as all die-hard fan-boys, fan-girls, and fan-people know... there is no greater sin than a spoiler. You have killed not just suspense, dramatic tension, and general enjoyment, but you have kill a piece of a person's very soul. You have committed The Unforgiveable. For which you'll probably wake to find a bloody horse head on your mattress. Placed there, in all likelihood by the ghosts of TV past, present, and future.

But let's not get off-track here. When does a spoiler no longer require an alert? And does this change based on the show? Like, HBO's first season of True Detective versus the first season of The Mysteries of Laura? Does the awesomeness and/or popularity of the show make a difference in the length that a spoiler alert sticks? Or is that irrelevant?

And, if different shows get different types/lengths of spoiler alerts, who decides? How do you rank and enforce such a complex faxu pas in light of the thousands upon thousands of shows, movies, and including those justifiably canceled as well as those that should never have been canceled.

I don't pretend to have the answers. But in the light of such a ridiculously random spoilering as my own, the question is well worth thinking about.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

San Leandro Voter's Guide: 2024 General Election

Image
As your local advocate and community organizer, I'm here to bring you the only comprehensive guide for San Leandro voters, election after election . I'm here to help you decide what to vote for (or against) along with reasons and receipts. This will be a long post, so buckle up! I'm starting with the local San Leandro and district elections first, then county races and measures, then ballot propositions, and then finally the statewide and federal offices. If you're strapped for time, you can find the TL;DR / CliffsNotes version just below and then check out the details further down at your leisure. NB: this does not include any candidates that are uncontested so won't be on your ballots, but feel free to reach out if you'd like information about them too. City Offices City Council District 2, Bryan Azevedo City Council District 4, Fred Simon City Council District 6, Robert Bulatao District Offices EBMUD Director Ward 5, Alex Spehr 1st and Jim Oddie 2nd East Bay...
Read more

San Leandro Community Police Oversight Event

Image
From the folks at SLATE , San Leandro for Accountability, Transparency, and Equity: "On October 16 and 21, the city of San Leandro will be giving the public a chance to share their feedback and ask any questions about community police oversight in San Leandro. Please attend one of the meetings and remind the city that we need a police oversight board that: 1. Is completely independent from the police department and fairly represents the community. 2. Has the power to review police policy. We hope to remind the city the importance of fair and transparent investigations of police misconduct.  Hop on one of the meetings to learn more about what the city is recommending and ensure that your voice is heard!" Learn more about these forums here. The virtual community forums will cover the following topics: background on police oversight; possible structures and elements of a police oversight model for San Leandro; as well as opportunities for public feedback and questions. The foru...
Read more

HOPE for Housing in San Leandro

Image
Do you believe everyone deserves a safe place to call home? It's a simple question really, but for some people, the answer isn't. As far back as 1944 , we've known that housing is a human right. Even now, when we think of the "American Dream" we think of housing. We imagine a place to live and call our own. So much of our identity and community is intertwined with the place we think of as home. But for many people in San Leandro that's impossible. The minimum wage here is $15.50 per hour . Assuming you are getting shifts full-time, your annual earnings before taxes are $32,240. Meanwhile, the median rent for a studio apartment is $1,849 per month. That's $22,188 per year. You now have $10,052 left for everything else . Oh, but wait, taxes are actually $5,408! Now you only have $4,644 for groceries, utilities, internet, transportation, health insurance, and maybe some clothes to wear. For the entire year. After rent and taxes, you have to live on $387 pe...
Read more