Dorktastic Videos: Distracting Myself From...
... The dumpster fire (Trumpster fire?) fueled on bullshit and bigotry by Darth Cheeto, AKA The Orange Menace, AKA Spray-Tan Hitler, AKA Twitterer in Chief, AKA ROTUS, AKA Apocalypse Now, AKA Donald Drumpf.
Trust me, the Russian Mafia Story just makes you want to cry tears of collegiate joy -- even if you were a "non-traditional" student like myself! It also makes so much sense when you think about college kids, Russia, and White people Whitepeopling. (Which I am told is, indeed, a verb, so fuck you.)
This video is probably the only reason I think Vine should exist. This video justified Vine's entire existence as a platform and the man in this video should have been awarded every Nobel prize (yes, even the Economic Sciences one that no one knows what the fuck is for). Seriously! Why isn't this man in charge of something? GODDAMNIT SIR, I'M JUST SAYING I LOVE YOU AND AM A LITTLE BIT TERRIFIED OF YOU.
Yes, this is a hilarious metaphor for the most recent presidential election. Yes, it is kind of sad when you overthink it. Yes, it is extremely hilarious when you just watch it without overthinking it. Yes, it does make you want to play Super Mario World: Election Year. Yes, I know this format is annoying -- moving on!
Okay, I know the speech at the 2017 SAG awards by David Harbour (Chief Hopper on Stranger Things, and if you don't have any idea what I'm talking about, then WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? PLEASE TELL ME YOU WERE IN A COMA UNDER A ROCK IN MONGOLIA SURROUNDED BY INDUSTRIAL STRENGTH BUBBLE RAP AND A STEADY DRIP OF MORPHINE) was a serious moment in challenging the aforementioned dumpster fire, but... c'mon! This is hilarious. I mean, it's just pure, unadulterated silly.
Last, but not least -- in the least -- is a simple animated fight scene with slightly-thick stick-figures. It has blood; it has gore; it has super powers; it has freeze-frame combos; it has epic sound effects; and, most importantly, it's just fucking awesome to watch and think, "someone actually made this -- what the hell am I even doing with my life?" Trust me, you'll feel better.
Anyhoo, I hope these dorktastic, nerdalicious, geeksauced, and dweebed-up videos perks your spirits the same slightly less crazed manner that they did for mine. If not, well... I tried!
How, might you ask? How can I possibly tear myself away from the litany of news feeds (or, in the words of Republicans "fake news," AKA "alternative facts," AKA lies) showcasing #45's brick-shitting and eye-gouging stupidity?
I watch hilarious videos, of course! So, for your distracting pleasure in-between bouts of social justice, activism, and maybe even a little subversion, I give you my choicest selections:
Trust me, the Russian Mafia Story just makes you want to cry tears of collegiate joy -- even if you were a "non-traditional" student like myself! It also makes so much sense when you think about college kids, Russia, and White people Whitepeopling. (Which I am told is, indeed, a verb, so fuck you.)
This video is probably the only reason I think Vine should exist. This video justified Vine's entire existence as a platform and the man in this video should have been awarded every Nobel prize (yes, even the Economic Sciences one that no one knows what the fuck is for). Seriously! Why isn't this man in charge of something? GODDAMNIT SIR, I'M JUST SAYING I LOVE YOU AND AM A LITTLE BIT TERRIFIED OF YOU.
Yes, this is a hilarious metaphor for the most recent presidential election. Yes, it is kind of sad when you overthink it. Yes, it is extremely hilarious when you just watch it without overthinking it. Yes, it does make you want to play Super Mario World: Election Year. Yes, I know this format is annoying -- moving on!
Okay, I know the speech at the 2017 SAG awards by David Harbour (Chief Hopper on Stranger Things, and if you don't have any idea what I'm talking about, then WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? PLEASE TELL ME YOU WERE IN A COMA UNDER A ROCK IN MONGOLIA SURROUNDED BY INDUSTRIAL STRENGTH BUBBLE RAP AND A STEADY DRIP OF MORPHINE) was a serious moment in challenging the aforementioned dumpster fire, but... c'mon! This is hilarious. I mean, it's just pure, unadulterated silly.
Last, but not least -- in the least -- is a simple animated fight scene with slightly-thick stick-figures. It has blood; it has gore; it has super powers; it has freeze-frame combos; it has epic sound effects; and, most importantly, it's just fucking awesome to watch and think, "someone actually made this -- what the hell am I even doing with my life?" Trust me, you'll feel better.
Anyhoo, I hope these dorktastic, nerdalicious, geeksauced, and dweebed-up videos perks your spirits the same slightly less crazed manner that they did for mine. If not, well... I tried!
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