Every Day

(By Banksy)

Every day, I read and watch the news.

My eyes bounce from MSNBC to Mother Jones, from Fox to Vox, from WaPo to HuffPo, from NYT to JDF, from Facebook to Twitter to Instagram to even fricking LinkedIn.

The world is full of sad shit. People die. Lives are ruined. Monsters and villains run amok. Communities crumble from disparities in wealth, health, diversity, equity, equality, liberty, tolerance, justice, and peace as our planet literally cooks us all alive in a polluted mess.

Every day, I read and watch the world, wondering what the hell is happening, feeling like the problems are too big for me to comprehend, let alone solve...

So I tear my eyes away. I look at my family, look at my career, look at myself. I look away in fear, feeling powerless. I look away in shame, embarrassed that I am part of oppressive systems. I look away in exhaustion, expending so much energy merely to keep myself even. I look away and laugh, if only because I was never very good at crying.

(Honestly, sometimes, I have no idea how I've managed to live this long. I have no idea how I got so lucky as to survive everything I've survived, end up with this wonderful family, a meaningful career, and a generally comfortable personal life. But I digress...) I wish I had some beautiful sentiment to make it all make sense. But I just don't right now. Because none of it makes sense. I wish I had some insightful wisdom to share, some pithy quote to recite as if I were a prophet. But I'm not. I got nothing.

I know nothing.

I know nothing and enough to know I know nothing, and that's all. Maybe someone can tell ME. Maybe someone can tell ME. Maybe someone out there knows something, anything, that can pull us from the brink, from the despair infecting our lives, from the sheer apathy and wanton ignorance that has replaced our compassion and understanding. So. Is there anyone out there? Is there anyone listening? Is there anyone reading? Is this thing even still on? I can only hope.