The Advocate

(Attribution) I've lived a life that has provided me with a near-endless supply of anxiety-induced, paranoid, cinematic, catastrophic nightmares. The Dead Man's Hour  is typically when this happens, waking up in a state of sleep paralysis  -- or possession by a Dybbuk . Because of course . Scenes of madness, of improbable (if not impossible) tragedy. Unspeakable but, apparently, not unthinkable. Grotesque evil filling the folds of my grey matter like sewage water until I feel as if I'm drowning. I tell myself scary stories of loved ones dying, loved ones violated, sudden illnesses, protracted injustices, years of good people eating shit in sufferance while the avaricious spend long lives of cruel bigotry and blissful ignorance. They rotate and repeat, varying the cast of characters, but playing the same soundtrack of horror. I imagine myself fighting back, a desperate gesture of a futility, and then falling... falling... until the closing dark suffocates me and

  Raw. Savage. Dolorous. Bursting full of emotions turbulent and deep. Deeper than oceanic currents. Deeper than petrol-filled chasms. Deeper than the wilderness holler. Deeper than light and air and all host of metaphors that are not enough for me right now. I am choking for want of a way to adequately express what I feel. But, if I had to picked something right now, then let's just say my current mood is this. Fucking cheers, everyone.

[***Author's Note: all links posted here are necessary to fully understand and comprehend this material. Please read each linked piece in full in the order which it appears. Also, the author is aware that this post cannot, by the very nature of its subject matter, stand as a timeless and completely comprehensive account, or for inadvertent omissions or developments that change the content contained herein.***] Israel and Palestine. Oppressor and oppressed. Colonizer and colonized. Settlers and refugees. Murders and protectors. Both and neither. Two nations. Two peoples. Two religions. Too much horror and tragedy. Neither can live while the other survives they say, but neither will live if the other dies too. It's that simple -- and yet, actually, it's also not that simple. Indeed, if there is ever a truism when it comes to the Middle East, especially Israel and Palestine, it's that everything is always really simple and really complicated. Forget shades of grey! We

(Paramount Theater, Oakland, CA. © 2018 FRANCK BOHBOT) I have 7 movies (at least) that I feel have flown under the proverbial radar, sat on shelves underestimated, or otherwise not received their proper due from audiences and critics alike. These are movies that make me cry, make me laugh, become nervous, get excited, tremble in fear, and exult in the pain of love so bright it burns. But seriously, these are just awesome films that deserve some respect on their names! So, without further gilding of the lily, preamble, and adieu, I bring you...

It's important for me that anyone reading this to remember that this is a creative space I have created. It exists solely for the purpose of exploring myself, my art, my connections with the world and within myself. It's purpose is to constrain me within a specific medium in order to free me from the distractions that would see the amalgamation of thoughts swirling around my grey matter don't disappear into some subconscious escape-hatch. It's also important for me that anyone reading this to remember that I use a pseudonym in order to distance the Me that exists within this pocket dimension from the Me that exists outside it. I'm both those people, but the former is, only a very specific presentation of Me. The latter is Me with and without filters, the flesh and blood, the purposeful and the fallible. The former is Me as I am creating myself, exploring myself, swimming amid the breadths and depths of life in order to understand, to empower my artistic express

(Even Sean Connery Will Not Stand Idly By) I spend an inordinate amount of time arguing with people on the internet. I have literally held up one index finger to My Life in order to finish the last sentence to a comment the length of a fortune cookie that took 30 minutes to think up. I'm not ashamed of this. I'm an arguer. I come from the land of arguers, raised by argumentative folks in a world of argumentative things where Up could very well be Down, depending on your perspective, and even the color of the sky was debatable. (You probably think that last sentence is an exaggeration. It's cute.) I've played Devil's Advocate so many times that if I could charge billable hours I would be rich enough to buy a Scrooge McDuck pool vault for the rest of my money. Hell, as a child, I used to raise my hand in class just so I could argue the most inane points of semantical nitpicky nothing-burgers. Once I launched myself into cyberspace, I played flamer , concer

( Smithsonian National Museum of African Art ) I did and do collect a lot of things. Quotes. Keychains. Books. Pogs. World of Warcraft Achievements. Memories. Songs. Stories. Another thing I collect are words. Not just any words. I'm talking about the castoffs, the amalgamations and portmanteaus, the slangsters, the randos. I try to keep a running list and thought maybe ya'll would enjoy what I've got thus far: 1. Pessoptimist, someone who is both a pessimist and an optimist, either alternating or at the same time. 2. Eunoia, the quality of "beautiful thinking." 3. Sarcaustic, being sarcastic and caustic at the same time. Sarcasm that burns. 4. Lunaphile, being a lover of all things moon-related. 5. Xenophilia, an affection for unknown/foreign objects and/or people, the opposite of xenophobia. 6. Wonderlust, unlike wanderlust's strong desire for travel, this is a strong desire for wonder, for things amazing or magical or just plain aweso